stand-up-comic-gifs:

Like fiery eyeball thing, no problem. But don’t even try to imagine a Samoan elf. (x)

(via itmakesmefeelsomop)

The first episode of friends aired 20 years ago today on September 22th, 1994

It’s like all of my life everybody has always told me “You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe, you’re a shoe, you’re a shoe!” And then today I just stopped and I said “What if I don’t wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse? You know? Or a hat?” 

(Source: izzyswood, via itmakesmefeelsomop)

(Source: robertdeniro, via ageofangels)

givemeinternet:

Was this a joke or is someone getting fired?

givemeinternet:

Was this a joke or is someone getting fired?

(via itmakesmefeelsomop)

It’s a much darker film than I was expecting. The book is not exactly uplifting or happy, but it’s a nasty film.

Trent Reznor who is scoring David Fincher's Gone Girl with Atticus Ross, and making me all the more impatient. I want to see that darker-than-expected, nasty film at once! (via livefasttryingnottodieyoung)

50 questions

1: What would you name your future daughter?

2: Do you miss anyone?

3: What if I told you that you were pretty?

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?

5: What are you looking forward to in the next week?

6: Did you go out or stay in last night?

7: How late did you stay up last night?

8: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?

9: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?

10: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?

11: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?

12: Have you pretended to like someone?

13: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

14: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?

16: Think back five months ago, were you single?

17: Have you ever cried from being so mad?

18: Hold hands with anyone this week?

19: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

20: Who did you last see in person?

21: What is the last thing you said out lot?

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?

23: Have you ever been to Paris?

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

25: Do you use chap stick?

26: Who did you last share a bed with?

27: Are you listening to music right now?

28: What is something you currently want right now?

29: Were your last three kisses from the same person?

30: How is your heart lately?

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?

32: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?

33: What do people call you?

34: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?

36: What are you listening to right now?

37: What is wrong with you right now?

38: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?

39: Do you make wishes at 11:11?

40: What is on your wrists right now?

41: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused/waiting for the unexpected?

42: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?

43: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

44: Have you hugged someone within the last week?

45: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?

46: What were you doing at midnight last night?

47: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?

48: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?

49: Have you ever been to New York?

50: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

— (via wreckedsailboats)

(Source: envy-breeds-hate-tonight, via ageofangels)

tel-e-path:

iPhone6 users.

tel-e-path:

iPhone6 users.

tenaciousmermaid:

malefactum:

quick I need help what is a good way to get revenge in a dorm 

it has to be mean, and not funny

at all.

Coat their sheets or clothing in itching powder, put hair bleach in their shampoo, release a bunch of crickets in their closet, if it’s a girl stain all of her pants’ crotches red, shred their notes, release a stink bomb in their bathroom idk

Burn down the dorm.

hemlock-gross:

Actual genius Jesse Pinkman

(Source: neymalia, via thecityinthe-sea)

The floor is lava!

— Everyone, Pompeii, 79 A.D. (via thisisthedroidyouarelookingfor)

(Source: ahkep, via tenaciousmermaid)

fucking idiot

— me to me (via v-ws)

(Source: hotsenator, via tenaciousmermaid)